Acceptance

Not long after Henry’s hearing loss was first diagnosed, my Aunty Marianne said to me that I probably wouldn’t have Henry any other way. I replied “No. I will get to that point, but I’m not there yet”. I knew that Henry’s hearing loss was part of who he was, but at that time I still wished it didn’t have to be. Since that time, I have learnt a lot. About hearing loss. About family. About what is important. About myself. And about Henry.
Now, we are only at the beginning of Henry’s journey to hearing, yet emotionally I am in a completely different place. I feel calm and confident about what lies ahead of us. Henry’s hearing loss and the activities I was supposed to incorporate into my every interaction with him felt like such an imposition. I resented having to talk, talk, talk. Having to eliminate background noise. Having to constantly explain his hearing apparatus. I thought about what if? What if Henry had been born hearing? I wished I could just enjoy my time with Henry without having to make every interaction a learning experience. But now, it is almost becoming second nature. We attend therapy every week and I obviously have so much to learn, but it’s not a strain, it’s actually just part of our routine. I know we will have to work hard, but I have completely accepted our new path. I know there will still be difficult times. Times when I think I can’t cope. Times when Henry thinks he can’t cope. But there will be so many rewarding times too, and this is what excites me. I have no doubt that Henry will learn to listen and speak. I say, if he doesn’t then that’s fine, we will just do what we have to do, but I never really consider that as reality. He hasn’t even been switched on yet, so we don’t know how he is going to go, but I just feel so confident.
In the past six months, I have gained an even better understanding of how hard it is going to be, something I underestimated before. Yet despite this, I know we can do it.